For couples, giving birth to a baby may seem like a natural process or a biological act. However, it is a process with much deeper dimensions in its details. Giving birth to an individual means forming the basis of a society from the very beginning to shape the adults of the future and even the individuals who will have children and will be parents. In short, being a parent properly is a sacred job. In this process, while it is obvious that responsibilities are not shared equally in our society, it is time to go beyond the roles of mother and father and become a parent.
So how will fathers achieve this? How can fatherhood, which is determined by the society and generally a little more comfortable in the part of raising children, than the mother, can pass from the area of responsibility drawn by the society to being a parent? By understanding the mother, of course. For fathers to understand the mother is actually not that hard…
Being a father is much more than the role assigned to you and the responsibilities expected from you. The perception of “the female bird makes the nest” or “mother takes care of the house, takes care of the children, and the father works and brings bread to the house”… It’s been a long time since he left behind the social roles he was working outside. While women are now in business life as much as men and increasing their responsibilities as both mothers and employees, is it right to still give the responsibilities years ago to the father? Of course not!
After becoming a parent, with the increase in responsibilities at home, it is normal to experience problems with task sharing between couples in a short time. Because when the mother gains the identity of a mother and enters the adventure of raising a baby, she becomes tired, and fatigue brings unhappiness and tension. In this case, he naturally projects his negative feelings to his wife. Because there is no one else besides him who can do it. The father, who thinks that he cannot make his wife happy no matter what he does, gets away from the process and responsibilities after a while. Because of all these, it is important for couples to be able to express themselves correctly and understand each other.
As fathers try to understand the mother by empathizing, they will understand that their responsibilities in the process are much more, and this will remove the pressure on women from motherhood responsibility.
Include in the Process from Pregnancy.
Parents enter a long 9-month waiting period with the news of having a baby. In this process, the father-to-be may seem a little more out of the way. Because after all, the baby is in the mother’s womb. But in fact, the father is as involved as the mother. The only problem is that what the father sees from the outside and what the mother experiences are different from each other. While it seems difficult enough, it is actually much more than experienced. If you wish, we can express the situation with a few examples.
Appearing for the father: It’s a beautiful thing because what grows inside is their little baby and motherhood suits her very well, she is beautiful in every way even if she gains weight.
Mother’s life: Her growing belly is more ready to meet her baby. means very close. It is a great feeling to feel the movements of your baby growing in your womb. But as it grows, the growing uterus puts pressure on the internal organs, and the difficulty in breathing, the reflux that starts as a result of the pressure on the stomach, and the bad taste that comes to the mouth after meals are really unsettling. Of course, with the weight gained and the growing belly, having trouble moving, not being able to fit into his favorite clothes and the swollen face he sees when he looks in the mirror is really depressing. Does his wife really like him the way he is?
For father: The situation is really difficult for his wife, who cannot eat because she is sick and who vomits constantly when she eats. He needs to be fed or he will be tired.
Mother lives in: Your baby needs to eat in order to grow up healthy, but he can’t even stand to look at it. What about the guilt of the baby with the thought of not being fed enough! Moreover, from being constantly vomiting, his abdominal muscles ache and that taste in his mouth is really bad…
What appears for dad:
Tidal moods; When he was very happy for a moment, he suddenly started to cry, suddenly he was angry, he never did before, but now he is taken for granted… “Why is he acting like this? a situation that makes you think?.
Mother’s life: Metabolism and psychology, confused by changing hormone values, will of course reveal unusual situations.
“Having a baby is really awesome!” This is a reason to be happy. “So will I be a good mother? Will I be able to fill your stomach? What if I can’t take good care of him and make him sick!” Here’s a reason to be suddenly unhappy and panic.
The happiness of a mother who feels closer to her as she moves and feels the kicks of her baby in her belly is priceless. “But why hasn’t he moved for 3 hours? What if my baby is not well! Should I call the doctor?” Here is another sudden change of mood… Preparing for birth; Buying tiny gloves, overalls, especially those tiny booties… The expectant mother eagerly wants to shop for her baby. But the moment comes and suddenly shopping scares him. “What if something happens to my baby! If I can’t give birth to him in a healthy way.” Here, happiness suddenly turned into a nightmare.
Learn to be a mother and father together at birth. If you have finally taken your baby in your arms with health, let us know, the real challenging parenting adventure begins now. On top of the birth fatigue, the mother breastfeeds the baby every 2 hours for the first two weeks, she burps her baby after almost every breastfeeding, then changes her diaper, she cannot find the opportunity to sleep and rest, and besides all these, a postpartum period! All this puts a lot of pressure on the mother, and the first person she wants to be with her in this difficult process is of course her husband.
To learn parenting, you must first experience the process. However, it will be the right thing to do to get the support of your spouse while learning to be a mother and father. Let alone; how to be a father to mother, father; Let the father help the mother how to be a better mother.
The growth and development process both before and after birth is exciting and unsettling for both mother and father. However, it must be admitted that the situation is a little more difficult for the mother. Because everything that the expectant mother eats, drinks-drinks, does-doesn’t do, even her stress and fear, will directly or indirectly affect the baby.
This responsibility is very heavy for the expectant mother and she expects the father to share this responsibility with her. A few sentences expressing that the father understands him or trying to correct the situations in which he has problems, understanding and motivating his concerns, in short
for fathers to understand the mother will lay the foundations of a happy family life.
1200If you wish, you can review our article on “Father’s Role in Baby Care”: https:// www.bebek.com/baby-care-dad-role/1200